After a night of Las Vegas debauchery, a man groggily wakes up to find a scantily dressed girl next to him in bed. On the nightstand, he sees what appears to be a wedding photograph from one of the strip’s wedding chapels. Hastily putting on his glasses he covers his mouth in shock because he realizes he is the one in the film.
Although the lady’s face is partially covered, he sees the cheap wedding ring on her finger. He spots an open purse. He rummages through her purse and he finds her wallet. He looks at her driver’s license and sees her first name is Christina – he already knows what her last name is.
And before he shuts her purse he finds a wide-ruled paper written in crayon beginning with Dear Mommy. The now-sober man realizes not only is he a new husband, but he’s also a new stepdad.
How To Do It
When a few dates, they create a relationship and fall in love before deciding to get married. In the exact same way, if there is a kid involved and your relationship is heading toward the altar you need to start courting your future stepchild. With the objective of establishing a connection and creating a relationship before proposing marriage.
Developing a relationship with a prospective stepchild is much easier and less stressful for all concerned when a spouse is still thought of as a parent’s boyfriend or girlfriend than it’s when you become a stepparent. If you currently have children your partner needs to know and be able to embrace the truth, you come as a package deal.
Don’t Be Santa
A frequent mistake made by many stepparents-to-be would be to extend their fiancé’s children with gifts in an attempt to buy their affections. The first issue is kids know when someone is trying to buy their love. They are savvy enough to not fall for the bait.
The next issue is the child might begin to expect gifts from you all the time and unless you are Daddy Warbucks, this will eventually put a strain on your finances.
In the end, you run the risk of not achieving your desired results and your stepchild-to-be might become resentful of your effort to bribe them for their love. The affection and trust of a stepchild come with taking the time and effort to develop a real relationship with them – not from trying to push it on them.
One of the best ways to connect with a new stepchild is to take an interest in what interests them. If a child is not open about what they like, a conversation with the biological parent may provide a starting point. If a stepchild is interested in animals, a trip to the zoo might offer a nice chance for bonding.
Older children can be harder to pin down and there are fewer opportunities to bond with them. Offering to help with homework or taking an interest in their favorite video game might not be the most powerful of beginnings to a relationship, but it’s a beginning.
While you’re taking an interest in your future stepchild’s interests, you could also involve your stepchild in your interests. A child already knows their biological parents and has had plenty of chances to get involved with them and their interests. Among the easiest ways to allow a new stepchild to the life span of their new or potential stepparent is to allow them to get involved in their interests.
By way of example, if the stepmom-to-be is part of a bowling league, the kids may not mind going to the bowling alley and get to watch or even take part in the game. At the same time, it’s essential to make sure the stepchild gets to spend time with their biological parent.
In shared custody, your stepchildren will only get a limited amount of time to spend with all their biological parents. You should help make certain your stepchild maintains a healthy relationship with their biological mother and father.
Take Your Time
The greatest gift you can offer your new stepchild is time. Remember your stepchild is grieving the loss of their nuclear family. It will take some time for them to get used to the fact their biological parents are no longer living in the same home.
It will take at least two or three years before a stepparent can actually build what could be considered a healthy relationship with their stepchildren. This can be made easier if the future stepparent starts to connect with the child prior to the wedding.